Well here we are on a saturday evening and i am sooooo bored.I am also wondering when i will get to see my children and grandson again.Its already been a month for both and i am starting to get a little anxious about it.If i only knew when i would get to see them all again i would be fine.If only i could see my grandchild once in awhile on webcam or get a call and talk to him i would feel much better.Tessa my youngest at least always answers her phone and we chat at least once a week.I have been deprived from my oldest for so long and would love to catch up with her since she is closer,but i know motherhood is hard to find time to do anything.I wish everyone would remember that i to am a mother and would love to see and hear from children as well.I miss them all so much and know that they have lives as well,but they are my life i love them all so much and want to be with them.I want to go to Houston to visit but i have to work next weekend and i would only have one day to visit,and with Tessa i guess i will visit when she is not studying.What to do.Oh well i guess i will see them when i can.I hope Caiden doesnt forget me.Tired of feeling sorry for myself tonight.Maybe tomorrow will be better.

Okay here we go again.Do you ever wake up in the morning and think okay here we go again same old thing over and over.You wake up at the same time,you dress at the same time,you go to work at the same time.Why?Does it always have to be the same thing?Where is the excitement in life.Its .nice to get off work ,but just to do the same things over and over.Sometimes i need a change.How do you just stop and change your life?Is this it?Is this all of life.Well let me tell you even though there is nothing going on for now my glass is always half full.I have my happy,healthy family,i have a home,i have a car and i do have a job.What about people who are going through cancer treatment or their family members are or maybe they dont have any family.I really hate to go to work each day,but you know what i go with a smile on my face and if anyone asks how i am i always tell them wonderful.I am wonderful.I have great people in in my life and family and we are all healthy so you know what??????I AM WONDERFUL!!!!!!!!!!

Okay today it's saturday and i have made up my mind to try and be a better friend and person.I talked to Dr.Khoury at work the other day and was telling her that all i wanted to do or even think about was my immediate family and doing things with them.I told her that i had not called or answered my phone to my friends or havent even seen my mom and dad that much.She told me that i had better not loose my friends and that even if i didnt call that much i should keep in touch.So okay tonight i invited Donna and mom and dad to go to the movies with us.Donna is going but cant get ahold or my parents.I guess im gonna try to do better and try to get my mind straight and consider other peoples feelings.I dont want to be a bad friend so im gonna try even though i still want my girls and my grandson more than anyone else.So this is my story for the day.

I'm not really sure how to go about starting this,but here goes.So like the title says Debbie,wife,mother or grandmother?I love being all of these things and would not trade any of them for the world,but sometimes i wonder where Debbie is.Where and what am i supposed to be right now.My family is all gone,my husband has his interests so where am i.I feel lost at times.I feel like with my family gone im not really anyone or anything.Life right now is always a sad goodbye for me.Is this a sgood as life gets?I feel lost in this world right now and am not sure what to do.I am changing is it for the better for me or for the worst.I do not care about anything or anyone except being with ,my immediate family.I do not call or care about talking to my friends or other family.I do not know why or how i have changed ,but i have.I need to find me ,maybe im lost and will never be found!